Writing

April 6, 3024
Extrasolar Laboratories, INC.
10:14 AM Coastal Time
OPERATION: Land safely on SUESS-1949
OPERATION STATUS: Ready

Dear Mom,
We are currently getting ready to set off to SUESS-1949 in the galaxy N-Newtonia. I know I'm a grown man with a doctorate, but I'm scared. There is a rather seedy-looking man coming along that is supposed to put us in hypersleep and I'm not sure that I trust him. At times like this, I regret ever becoming an astronaut.
Anyway, I love you more than I could possibly tell you. I'll write hypograms to you whenever I can. Please treasure this last physical not to you, because it is likely you will have died by my return. :)
With Love,
Dr. Jones, PHD.

Extrasolar Laboratories, INC
12:26 PM Coastal Time
OPERATION: Land Safely on SUESS-1949
OPERATION STATUS: Blastoff

This was the last time anyone would see these four brave men until four lifetimes later. Generations of Extrasolar engineers worked on this project back on Earth. But once they reached hyperspace, the only communications that we got back were Dr. Jones’ promised letters to his beloved mother.

Hypogram:
Sent December 25, 3025
DEAR MOM, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I HOPE YOU ARE WELL. OUR SHUTTLE, THE BARTHOLOMEW CUBBINS HAS JUST PASSED JUPITER. ALL HAS GONE WELL SO FAR. I DON’T KNOW WHEN THIS WILL REACH YOU, BUT I HOPE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE WHEN IT COMES. WE ARE SCHEDULED TO GO INTO HYPERSLEEP IN ABOUT THREE MONTHS. I AM EVEN MORE WORRIED THAN EVER, BECAUSE DR. SLEESE HAS BEEN ACTING EVEN STRANGER THAN BEFORE. HE’S THE ONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO PUT US INTO HYPERSLEEP. I’LL SEND ANOTHER ONE OF THESE A FEW DAYS BEFORE HYPERSLEEP. WITH LOVE, DR. JONES, PHD.

Hypogram:
Sent March 15, 3026
DEAR MOM,
IN A FEW HOURS WE WILL BE GOING INTO HYPERSLEEP FOR FIFTY YEARS! DR. SLEESE HAS BEEN ACTING EVEN STRANGER, IF THAT IS EVEN POSSIBLE. HE KEEPS SAYING “BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH,” VERY CREEPILY. I THINK HE MIGHT BE PUTTING US TO SLEEP IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. HE’S NOT GOING INTO HYPERSLEEP HIMSELF, LUCKILY. AFTER PUTTING US IN HYPERSLEEP, HE’S GOING IN A SEPARATE POD BACK TO EARTH. THERE IS A TIMER SET TO WAKE US BACK UP IN FIFTY YEARS. IF WE’RE STILL ALIVE THAT IS… WITH LOVE, DR. JONES, PHD.

On September 13, 3027, Dr. Sleese returned safely back to Earth. He reported that the transition to hypersleep had been successful. However, several of our reporters said that they had seen a strange grin on his face as he said it…

Hypogram:
Sent March 15, 3075
DEAR DEPARTED MOTHER, AS SOON AS I WOKE UP FROM HYPERSLEEP, I IMMEDIATELY KNEW THAT I WAS ALONE. THERE WAS A VILE STINK ABOUT THE AIR. AS SOON AS I STARTED LOOKING AROUND, MY SUSPICIONS HAD BEEN CONFIRMED. I SAW THREE BLEACH WHITE SKELETONS LAYING IN THE BEDS AROUND ME. DON’T EVEN ASK ME HOW THE BACTERIA REQUIRED TO MAKE DEAD FLESH ROT EVEN GOT IN THE SHIP! I’M PRETTY SURE THAT THEY WERE MURDERED. With love, dr. jones, phd.

Hypogram:
Sent March 16, 3075
DEAR DEPARTED MOTHER, I AM IN THE DEEPEST SORROW. MY COHORTS HAVE BEEN MURDERED. I CHECKED THE SECURITY FOOTAGE FROM THAT FATEFUL DAY. I WAS RIGHT TO HAVE NOT TRUSTED DR. SLEESE. THE FOOTAGE SHOWS DR. SLEESE SLITTING EACH OF THEIR THROUGHS IN TURN, WHILE I WAS LAYING IN THE MIDST OF IT IN HYPERSLEEP. HOWEVER, I AM STILL GOING TO SUESS-1949, EVEN IF I HAVE TO DO IT ALONE. I HAVE JUST ENTERED THE GALAXY N-NEWTONIA, AND I AM SUPPOSED TO REACH MY DESTINATION IN ABOUT A WEEK. I AM VERY EXITED. I HAVE TRAVELED MILLIONS OF LIGHT YEARS TO GET HERE, AND I AM ONLY A FEW DAYS AWAY. WITH LOVE, DR. JONES, PHD.

Hypogram:
Sent March 23, 3075
DEAR DEPARTED MOTHER, I HAVE ARRIVED WITHIN VICINITY OF SUESS-1949, AND I AM ALMOST READY TO LAND. THE PLANET APPEARS TO BE MOSTLY SMOOTH, SAVE VARIOUS MOUNTAIN RANGES DOTTED ALONG THE SURFACE. I AM TAKING MANY PICTURES THAT WILL COME BACK TO EARTH WITH ME. WITH LOVE, DR. JONES, PHD.

Hypogram:
Sent March 23, 3075
DEAR DEPARTED MOTHER, I HAVE LANDED ON SUESS-1949, AND IT IS A STRANGE PLACE INDEED. AT FIRST, THE GROUND APPEARED SOLID, BUT I GUESS IT IS NOT. I FEEL LIKE THE SHIP IS SLOWLY SINKING INTO THE GROUND! ALL THIS LONG TRAVEL MUST BE MAKING ME HALLUCINATE! EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT HALF THE WINDOW IS BLOCKED! I AM SINKING! I WONDER IF I WAS MISTAKEN, AND THE PLANET IS MADE OF QUICKSAND! I DON’T KNOW IF I AM GOING TO MAKE IT OUT! JUST IN CASE, I AM PROGRAMMING THE SHIP TO MAKE THE RETURN JOURNEY. I AM OPENING THE DOOR TO SEE IF I CAN SWIM OUT…

On June 3, 4017, The Bartholomew Cubbins returned safely to Earth. When engineers opened the door, a strange liquid poured out of the ship. After numerous tests, they discovered it to be oobleck. They also found three skeletons in the mix. However, there was no trace of Dr. Jones. They renamed the planet Oobleckia, and gave that brave man a Nobel Prize in Physics.