A journal thing where I can complain about OCD and all the other horrors my brain has decided to force upon me
Aphantasia is my inability to see any vivid images in my head, which means I have about five different audio tracks running at once to make up for the difference; one of those tracks is usually an active panic attack
Over the summer, I've been constantly paranoid that I haven't been enjoying my time with my family enough; that I've been wasting what little time I have left with them always around before I move back to college in a few weeks. This has made it so that I'm too busy panicking during the times that I could be enjoying myself to actually live in the moment. A few weeks ago, we were walking through a gorgeous forest of towering Psudotsuga menzisii and the only thought in my mind was that I was going to be leaving these people in barely any time at all and not going to see them again until Thanksgiving. This negative feedback cycle is so infuriating, but I don't know what I can do. I feel like I'm wasting my time, and all that concern is leaving me with too little energy to fix it.
What's worse is that my eating problems are coming back; I'm having a hard time wanting to eat anything; I just have no appetite. The problem with this is that it's starting to affect my mental health, and the last few days have been miserable, which only feeds more into the negative spiral I described earlier. I keep getting snappy with my family because I hate everything, and I still have no appetite.